let the sushi roll

This will be a short post. In the handful of times that I have considered posting an entry in the last few months, I have been intimidated by trying to avoid negativity, be honest, and actually write something interesting. Not today, though--it was simply a good day.

Today, Krystin and I made sushi. After a quick explanation from Krystin, I was rolling my own. It's actually pretty easy. And the resulting food was delicious. Best of all, there are leftovers in the fridge. Sushi can be a breakfast food, no? In all, an evening well spent.

On tomorrow's list of things undone: making another hardcover journal from scratch. I'll try and toss some pictures and captions on the blog after it's finished.

Photo caption: Black Sesame Reverse Roll with Asparagus and Carrots. Hot dang, I'm good. [grin]

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In other news, Alban will be here in six days and Lance in eleven. Zoinks!
(That's a cry of excitement for those deprived of a childhood exposure to Scooby Doo.)

one week down, twenty-four more to go

My first week of classes here in Bangkok is finished. It went well. I keep mentally pinching myself to make sure that things really are as good as they feel right now. Serving as the only SM for four months in Chiang Mai was miserable, at least for me personally. Here, at the English Language School, there are four other SMs. Carignane, Patrick, and Krystin are from the States and Merika is from Finland. I don't think I can really describe the simple pleasure of eating lunch with people who speak the same language that I do. And it would be tough to explain the joy found in just shooting the breeze with other teachers during downtime or in between classes.  The realist angel (or devil) that sits on my shoulder whispers that I won't always be this content. But for now, I ignore him; I want to absorb as much of this contentment as I can. Life is pretty dang okay.

Random sidenote: Ask me if I am going to be attending a wedding on Saturday night. And not as a guest, mind you, I am going to be a groomsman. Ordinarily, this would involve knowing the groom. In this particular case, however, being acquainted with the groom (or anyone else in the wedding party) is purely optional. I will be sure to write more after the fact; the wedding should be interesting addition to my weekend.

Peas.

simple truths

Simple truths that have made themselves apparent to me after almost three months in Thailand:

1. The class right after recess in elementary school should be dreaded--most children take the time to imbibe some sort of sugary treat rather than the expected running around and beating each other up. Selling junk food to kids during recess, while admirable in some entrepreneurial sense, should be outlawed.
2. There is Thai food that I don't like and even think gross. Previously, I thought this impossible. What changed? I tried laap dip. And then I realized it was seasoned raw meat. I should have given it more than a cursory examination. [shudder]
3. Rushing to make semi-complex worksheets in less than a half-hour will always lead to mistakes; not surprisingly, it doesn't matter how many times you check it on the way to the copier.
4. Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. (see number three)
5. Procrastination leads to stress, stress to bad sleep, and bad sleep to a poor, leaden (as in not buoyant) attitude. (see number four)
6. If your life depends on arriving someplace in a hurry, going by way of elephant will not only leave you sore, but also dead. But they are fun as heck to ride for ten minutes.
7. One doesn't really think much of the humble textbook unless you find yourself teaching without its help. In all your classes. [muttering]
8. The Internet is an amazing, amazing thing. Without it, I would have no contact with friends or family, no cheap phone calls, no BBC or Garrison Keillor on my iPod, and certainly much less sanity.

In other words, has anyone received a postcard in the mail from me? I'm just curious to know if my novel experimentation with the global postal system has borne any fruit. (borne--now there's a past participle one doesn't use everyday; I had to check the dictionary, good grief)

never mind dentistry for 200, unless it is a daily double...

Today was better. Teaching is a lot about confidence. That was what was missing from Monday. Much like dogs can smell fear, I am pretty sure that students can smell a teacher who is unsure of himself. I felt like I was on the brink of losing control all day Monday, especially with the younger kids. What changed between yesterday and today? After daydreaming of ways to avoid teaching the next day, such as: catching 24-hour malaria, being deported, and breaking both my legs in a freak walking accident, I simply called home. I was overwhelmed. And idealess as to what teaching English actually entails. (Should I teach grammar, conversation, reading, writing, or some other nebulous part of the English language?) So I asked my mom if she had any ideas. And she did. She also gave me a useful piece of advice: just focus on what you will do and don't be distracted by all that you could do.

So I prepared and I prayed for courage and confidence (and apologized to God for being such a Complaining Carlos when things went badly).

And today was better. Besides, I am pretty sure that a root canal falls into the category of Things-I-never-want-to-go-through.

i'll take dentistry for two hundred

If I had to choose, based on my classes today, to either teach or visit the dentist everyday for a root canal, I would go with the root canal. And unabashedly hug the dentist before and after. Today wasn't that great as far as first days go. I really don't have any idea what I am doing. And that certainly doesn't fly well with primary school kids. Or high school students. I was worried on Sunday. After today, justifiably so.

I don't think I can take 6 more weeks of days like today. I'm off to brainstorm. And lick my wounds.

i hate sudden change

After approximately two months of doing the same thing every week, it is all about to change. Suddenly. I hate sudden change. I have been team teaching with Thai English teachers in high school since I arrived. However, due to the resignation of a teacher, the whole world is about to be turned upside down into a blender and set to liquify. Well, maybe that is a little dramatic.

The change: now I will be responsible for teaching grades 1-6 along with a smattering of high school classes. And the kicker: I will be teaching all by myself. Normally, this wouldn't cause such consternation on my part (after all, I came here to teach), but this is a school that teaches all subjects in Thai, including teaching English. Furthermore, I am sorry to report that after eight weeks (eight weeks!!!) my Thai is still pretty limited; although, if you need someone to order food for you, I am your man. Essentially, I have no idea how to teach English in English to Thai-speaking people. Especially Thai-speaking people in elementary school. Aargh! To say that I am a little worried is an slight understatement. I am very worried.

what's your constant?

I have rediscovered that books are my constant. While the other variables in my life may change--location, responsibility, and community--I will always enjoy reading. I think I could even go so far as to say that I couldn't survive (read: wouldn't live well) without being able to read.

I was planning to pack five of my favorite books to bring with me to Thailand, but in the rush to be packed and ready and actually arrive at the airport before my flight left the gate, I forgot to pack them. The only books that crossed the Pacific were LP guidebooks and a book on teaching foreign language (which has proved to be nothing more than dead weight). Oh, the inhumanity! (I also forgot the charger for my camera battery; hence, the lack of pictures on my blog) The gravity of the situation didn't hit me until I finally recieved and unpacked my bag on my first Sunday. Taking stock of all my belongings, the dearth of books was pretty obvious. That first week was long and tough. There wasn't a whole lot to fill the down time.

The next weekend, however, my boss (Mr. Bell) introduced me to the Raintree Resource Center. The Center's purpose is to provide support for expats living in the Chiang Mai area. My favorite part of the center (and the only part I have ever used) is the extensive library. Seven weeks and fifteen books later, I can honestly say that books improve the quality of my life here; they are my constant.

What's yours?

cambodia

It has taken me forever to be able to sit down and write about my trip to Cambodia. There doesn't seem to be any good reason why. Things just come up and steal my attention. So I have decided to write when I can, rather than wait for the ever-elusive large block of time.

If, in the family of Asia, Thailand is the well-mannered, well-to-do older brother, then Cambodia would be a broke cousin, who, despite being a little rough around the edges and having a crummy childhood, still manages to smile and work toward improvement. Happily, this cousin happens to have some of the most impressive ruins in the world sitting in his yard.

One would think that seeing Angkor Wat was the highlight of my trip; while seeing the beautiful, ancient structures was a great experience, I enjoyed the time I spent with people in Cambodia the most. I went to visit Trina Yeo, who is an SM at Cambodia Adventist School in Phnom Penh. She teaches the first grade and I had the chance to hang out with her and the kids for the day. Somehow I went from a person collecting tests and turning the occasional jumprope to a person sitting with with four wiggly boys in his lap, trying desperately to read stories for all of them. Her kids are the most loving, energetic first-grade class I have ever been to visit.

I also got a chance to see Liz (we had speech class together at Walla Walla) and to meet Heather from Union (College in Lincoln, Nebraska...pushin' the pen and slingin' the ink along--I always hear the song in my head). It was so good to hang out with other people my age and talk in English. Seems sort of silly-sounding now that it is on paper, but it is easy to take something as normal as talking in English for granted.

We four tried to do a bit of sightseeing, but quickly discovered that much of Phnom Penh is closed or deserted during the holiday of P'chum Ben. We ended up at a café and just had some chill time. Random fact: Heather is a big Oprah fan. In fact, we ended up playing an impromptu game of Stump-Heather-with-Oprah-trivia. She knew the answer to almost every question without hesitation. In short, I was amazed.

During the next few days, the four of us split up. Trina and I went to Siem Reap, home to Angkor Wat, while Heather and Liz hung out in the capital. Angkor was pretty dang cool. Traveling by bus was as monotonous as I remember from Argentina. Hanging out with Trina was as fun in Cambodia as in the double Walla. All in all, a very good time.

It wasn't a very long visit to Cambodia--only five days--but it went as vacations usually do: quickly. It was well worth every penny that I spent to get there. Leaving was hard. Heather asked (in jest, I think) if I wanted to stay. I would have said yes if it were only as easy as speaking the words. For a few days I got to experience community. It was beautiful. It even caused symptoms of withdrawal when I returned. (see below post entitled community)

So thanks to three ladies of Cambodia for letting me hang out and enjoy your good company.

community

Sometimes I wonder if I am going crazy; the lack of people to talk to leaves me with the occasional internal monologue that narrates my day. The only time that it gets let out is when I write. There are few people that I easily relate to and even fewer people with a sufficient command of English to have an in-depth conversation. I guess today I am suffering the acute effects of a lack of community. No one asks me how my day is going that really cares about my answer. There is no Thursday night bible study (read: ice cream and chill time with friends) and there is no one to share my free time with (read: no day off camp style). I hate feeling isolated.

I could kick myself for each time I decided to eat by myself in my room at Walla Walla, or opt out of some get together for no good reason. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. It is one thing to choose alone time (albeit a poor choice), it is another thing entirely to have no other option.

This isn't the adventure that I imagined. All the bold explorers had crews or mates or other people in their parties. I always think of Lewis and Clark. Lucky bums. To explore the Northwest with friends and crew. [sigh] Hundreds of years and tens of thousands of miles separate me from their expedition, but it doesn't stop me from being jealous. When I get metaphorically shot in the rump, there is no Clark to pick the buckshot out my arse and give me a band-aid (it's a true story, look it up--except for the band-aid, I think).

I am learning the hard way--or, perhaps I am being taught--the importance of community. No man is an island, and he would be hard pressed to survive as a peninsula. I thought I could handle this. Maybe I can. Just not right now. Not today

digging for gold, or, eww, gross

It's Monday, and i am helping to proctor exams. So far i have seen three people pick their noses. And not the kind of discreet nose picking when you feel as if something is about to fall out of your nostril during an important meeting. No, this is the full-on, finger-in-to-the-second-knuckle-kind of digging for gold. It's gross and funny, all at the same time. Maybe taking tests is like being in a car; by virtue of driving or writing an exam, one feels invisible and therefore capable of doing whatever without being seen. Yep, in case you couldn't tell, I am dangerously bored. [sigh]

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naturally, people who ride bikes are called cyclists and those who ride motorcycles are called bikers.

On Sunday, I took myself to Chiang Mai, the city that is about 35 km away. I rode there on the motorcycle, by myself, on the left hand side of the road, without killing myself. It was actually kinda fun. That is, besides the fact that I went around the block 3 times just to get to the mall--apparently one must drive aggressively in the city. I am not much of an aggressive driver. I will either learn, or become used to missing my turn and going 'round in circles forever. In other news, I bought a cell phone. And it has a built-in flashlight. Remind me again why we don't have these ingenious things in the United States. Hmm, that's right, we are concerned with features like Bluetooth and video capture. Ha. Just kidding. I am unabashedly a nerd and I like phones with crazy features. But who can beat the simple utility of a flashlight? And if you get bored, feel free to call. I'm pretty sure you can use Skype or something for super cheap. Here are my digits: 011-66-810200203. I am 11 hours ahead of the East Coast and 8 hours ahead of the West Coast; translation: as much as I like all the people that read my blog, I may be a little cross if you call me at three in the morning. Expect random phone calls from me, whenever I get the chance/shell out for the phone cards.

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the hawg

This is me. Oh yeah, I had to get a haircut. I forgot to mention that, I think.

This is my hawg. Crappy paint job, I know. Some students tried to improve what they thought was an old-looking bike. They probably shouldn't persue a career in auto detailing. In the end, I suppose it is the thought that counts. It doesn't have a name yet. Maybe one will come to me.


This is me on my hawg. This bike is how I get around. Without it, I am not sure what I would do. The nearest town with a bank is about twenty minutes away--Mae Malai. The closest city is about seventy minutes away--Chiang Mai, the second largest city in Thailand. Translation: I am about two lefts from the middle of nowhere, and without the bike, I would likely turn into a vegetable of some sort, most likely a beet. Yuck. Granted I haven't driven a motorcycle regularly before. But I am discovering that I really enjoy it. The gas mileage certainly leaves no bitter feelings. Maybe I should buy a motorcycle/scooter when I return home...

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teaching

Some people have been wondering how teaching has been going for me. So after almost two weeks, here the synopsis:

Chiang Mai Adventist Academy is a boarding school with around 680 students. After asking around, it seems like that number includes the boarding elementary school as well. It's pretty amazing that you can be a boarding student from grade one through grade twelve. I can't imagine leaving home at age 6--good grief!

Mayatom (where I teach) covers grades 7-12 and each class is divided into 3 sections according to grades--section one is the best, section two is mediocre, and section three has the worst students. I often ask myself, "Are they poor students because they are in the third section or are they in the third section because they are poor students?" It doesn't seem right to me, but who knows, maybe it builds character.

There are eight periods every day and I teach between three and five of these periods. Well, I wouldn't say teach exactly. Since I don't speak Thai and I am not a certified teacher, I team teach with other instructors. In some classes, I assist teachers with their activities; these are my favorite because it feels like I am helping students work toward learning something--like I am an important part of a plan. In other classes, I am essentially the teacher. I have to come up with activities that get students involved with using English. That part I can handle. However, making sure that my activities are useful/relevant is difficult. In these classes there is no overarching plan to guide the scholars. I run about like a little dutch boy, trying to stop all the leaks in the dike with my fingers, all the while knowing that I am doing very little.

Either way, it is certainly good practice for going to Bangkok and teaching by myself

This is the week before exams. I am excited to be able to travel a little bit. And plan for my classes as well. Not to mention seeing other SMs. It will be good.

Peas.

snapshots (to catch you up, dear reader)

I sleep fitfully on my last leg of the trip, no, journey to Chiang Mai. So many questions buzz in my head. I try to distract myself with music, but it fails miserably. So I decide to confront them. Am I really going to live 10,000 miles from home? Yes. Can I live 10,000 miles from home? I am not sure but I will soon find out. I have never taught English--can I do it? Only time will tell. How will I live as the only SM my age? I'll find out.
We land in Chiang Mai and I breeze through Immigration. Standing in front of the baggage claim belt, I wait. And I wait. Then, I wait some more. I am brought to the realization that my bags are lost somewhere, hopefully on this side of the Pacific. Luckily, I brought a change of clothes. Little do I know (what a great phrase--you would have to see the movie) that the clothes have to last me till Sunday. Today is Thursday.

They drive on the left side of the road in Thailand! I had absolutely no idea. I have a feeling that it will take me a long time to learn to drive my motorcycle without maiming myself.

I look at my watch. It's three am. Eventually, I doze off.
I look at my watch again. Now it's four am. I lay on my back and sigh. Finally after what seems like an eternity, I fall back asleep.
Awake again. I look at my watch; five-thirty stares back at me. This time I just lay there until the sun comes up. Here there is no sunrise. It's dark and then it's light; I never jump out of bed like the sun. I hear its bad luck.

I guess these are the joys of jetlag. Arrgh! Today is Friday.

I wake up at three o'clock in the morning (are you sensing a trend?). There is no going back to sleep. As the dark morning passes, I begin to realize where I am and conjecture about what I've gotten myself into. I am overwhelmed. Very much so. I being to think about how fast I can pack. And if there is enough money in my account to buy a ticket home. Since I haven't recieved my luggage, packing would be easy. And I have just enough to purchase one-way passage to Boston. At least, I think so.

As thoughts swirl around my brain, I realize I am edging ever closer to panic. I pray and I tell God exactly what is going on in my mind--as if he already doesn't know. After praying, I fill my ears with The Chronicles of Narnia (thanks, Alan). My troubled mind relaxes as I am drawn into the familiar story of Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. After a time, I fall asleep. Praise the Lord. Today is Sabbath.

I am sitting in church with my boss and his wife. We have been lucky these past few days as there is a pastor visiting from Andrews. His name is Chester and he is loud-spoken and friendly. Actually, as I find out, he is the voice of Uncle Dan from Your Story Hour. So I should revise that--he speaks loudly, is friendly, and enunciates very well. Not to mention being a wise and thoughtful fellow who was a missionary to Thailand in the 60s.

He uses me as an object lesson in his sermon. he talked about leaning on someone more powerful than him as an analogy for leaning on Jesus. He invited me to the front and leaned on me. It spoke powerfully to my heart. Such a simple idea, but lifesaving in practice--especially for an SM who is slightly overwhelmed and a little homesick.

Thai potluck. Sweet mercy, these people can eat! I wish I had brought my camera. The pavilion outside of the church is replete with church members, teachers from the school, and the newly baptized members. And everyone brings food. Dishes of rice, noodles, chicken, fish, vegetables, curries, fruits, and strange crunchy things, along with others I don't recognize, pack the table. I eat. I eat very well.I eat my very first papaya salad. Sweet and tangy and spicy mixed up together, storming the tongue all at once. So delicious. Thai food is very delicious. Aahaan thai aroi maak khrap.

อาหารไทยอร่อยมากครับ

I practice this phrase in Thai. I live this phrase in Thai

the list, or dial-up no longer

I'm sitting here in my room in my faux papasan chair, thoroughly enjoying a moment of idleness. While the mantra of "so much to do in so little time" still holds true after the madness of school and exams, I am enjoying at least the change of location. It's a comfortable 80 degrees with a light breeze, and I would be outside were it not for the early appearance of mosquitos.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. [figurative leap of joy] We have DSL!! And a wireless router!! NO MORE DIAL-UP!!!

Yes, I really was just shouting...well, sort of.

Let's see, umm, well, what else is going on? I finally narrowed down my list of possibilities for SMing next year (yes, you grammarians out there, I just invented a verb). [sticks out tongue] In case you are curious, here it is:

1. Chiang Mai, Thailand - Teaching ESL
2. Bangkok, Thailand - Teaching ESL
3. Taipei, Taiwan - General HS Assistant
4. Hong Kong, China - Teaching HS Sciences
5. Beijing, China - Teaching ESL

It took me forever to decide the order. And needlessly so, I might add; when I finally emailed my list to the student missions office last tuesday, I had the epiphany that God can surely manage to put me where I need to be in spite of my making a list. That is really comforting. Because along with being a generally indecisive guy and seasoned procrastinator, I am an occasional worrier, mostly about making mistakes. Fortunately, there are few mistakes in life that are irreparable, and of those, fewer are that life-shattering. Now if only I really believed that....

Right-o. Oh yeah, one more thing. I am trying to decide how I should write my fundraising letter. And since I would love to avoid the standard form letter, I have been working on some sketches. Feel free to leave some feedback, be it positive or not.